C19 Viral Isolation from Canine Excrement: A Novel Methodology
Urgent Report:
C19 Viral Isolation from Canine Excrement: A Novel Methodology
Journal of Virus Excrement Isolation & Transmission, Vol 1, Issue 1. Published on line Nov. 28, 2022.
doi.org//10.1038/s41586-020-2008-3
Authors:
Kingstn K., McCulloug P., Malon, R., Mercol, J.
Affiliations: Intentionally Left Blank
INTRODUCTION
Many ex-medical doctors and non-medical writers have opined that no virus exists. We herein dispel this fallacy and describe a novel method of viral isolation using canine excrement as source material.
METHODS
We isolated canine excrement including urine and feces deposited in a rain puddle near our research facility near Peewell City from our lab dog, “Viro” who showed no signs of Rabies. The canine excrement isolation was pipetted carefully to avoid splashing using a 500ml fixed-volume pipette, and using the puddle water as vehicle was immediately transferred into a pressure sprayer (Fig 1). Before the solution could smell putrid we rushed the sprayer into our bioclean experiment room (Uri Nation, Inc.) where 5 male subjects negative for Covid-19 in their 20’s were waiting under blinded, blindfolded, and window blinds lowered conditions.
Five squirts of the test spray was inoculated into the experiment room that was pretreated with Sage Aroma Incense (Shitonyagrad, Russia) to maintain total subject-blind conditions. We allowed the subjects to inhale the aerosolized mixture for 20 minutes and then waited 24 hours to measure clinical outcomes. One subject claimed he was “feeling euphoric” after the inoculation period, refused to leave the bioclean room, and had to be escorted to safety after his blood pressure was found to be elevated to 160/95, he quickly recovered and was continued in the study under the “intent to treat & pee” protocol.
RESULTS
Three of the five subjects (not including the euphoric subject) began to feel malaise and flu-like symptoms within 30 minutes of removal from the bioclean room. Two stated they must have Covid-19, the 3rd was on the fence and opined he had “Flurona” and was dog-tired. 2 were admitted to the hospital and given oxygen face masks and a glycophate nebulizer. The symptomatic subjects recovered after 2 weeks of quarantine and these 3 tested positive for Covid-19 (the chart noted these kits were from the batch of “Covid-19 test kit” patented in 2015). Of note, the clinical lab techs said they had run-out of influenza test kits. The puddle was also tested using a nasal swab and was positive for Covid-19 to the surprise of the researchers, except Viro’s trainer who said he had “smelled Covid” on Viro for the last few days. All puddles in the vicinity were destroyed by spraying them heavily with dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane (some staff had trouble walking soon afterwards and Viro had a “transient Rabies attack”. A manuscript elucidating the incestuous and interlocking directorates connecting Dog Poo, Covid, Rabies, DDT, Paris Green, and Polio is now being prepared). A lab assistant said on a hot mike that the common theme was that they were all “full of shit”.
DISCUSSION
The data strongly suggest that Sars-Cov-2 can easily be isolated from canine excrement/rainwater mixture, and that this mixture can transmit Covid-19 to humans through the natural aerosol route of infection. The gold-standard PCR specifically, sensitively, and more importantly only tests for Covid so this is the only logical conclusion. We have submitted the data to the Peewell City Health Authority who said they would recommend Covid testing for all pets and puddles in town.
The authors do not have any conflicts of interest.
Funding was received from the Steve Kirsc Foundation for Ethics in Virology.
The paper was not peer reviewed as all candidate reviewers declined to confirm test conditions by direct inhalation of doggie study material.
Proton Magic News wrote to the authors:
LETTER TO THE EDITORS
Nov. 29th, 2022
Dear Sirs, Madams, and Doggies,
Re your Urgent Report:
C19 Viral Isolation from Canine Excrement: A Novel Methodology in Vol 1, Issue 1, Journal of Virus Isolation & Transmission seems to be mistaken on many levels. We would like to say “full of shit” but the first problem of this paper was a lack of quantification methods so we cannot say “full” with certainty.
The protocol and conclusions also have the following problems:
1. You did not control for excrement from various dog breeds, individual doggie variation, different puddles, excrement saturation time, Sage only controls, etc.
2. You did not “isolate” sars-cov-2 in a scientific manner using density gradient, purification confirmed on E-M, or add the proper toxins to a cell-culture in order to "smoke-out" the pesky virus as is standard practice.
3. You did not rule-out influenza, flurona, peeonya, or simple toxic reaction to the weaponized doggie turd (our favored choice), and have rushed to diagnose Covid-19.
4. You are delusional about the ability of PCR to detect anything without first having the particle, fecal-controls, and even then the cycle no and other problems still abound.
The highlight of the paper, however, is that it did suggest that respiratory symptoms in humans can be caused by inhaling aerosolized toxic excrement.
This also suggests that:
Persons with colds/flu can cause cold-symptoms in others in proximity thru aerosolized droplets of cell debris that are toxic to and/or signal others to have a cleansing reaction in their airways, no virus required. Thus, the transmission fanatics do have a point that there can be “transmission” of cold/flu symptoms on occasion (and without requiring the presence of a replication-competent virus or other nano-monster incarnation).
Respectfully submitted, Proton Magic
Hilarious! Thank you.